You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
