I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
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