She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
