Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
