How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
