Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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