SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
