is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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