Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Randomize
