When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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