The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Randomize
