the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
