Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
