It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
