I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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