I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I licked your asshole in confidence.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
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