just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
