I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
3pm strippers are depressing
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize
