How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
