Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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