just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
