do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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