white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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