Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I will pee on everything he values.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize
