As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
