But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
