I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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