Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
time to smoke my breakfast
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Randomize
