If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
