Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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