and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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