I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
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