I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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