i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Randomize
