my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
