Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Randomize