take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
