he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
