We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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