i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Randomize