sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
