ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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