Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Randomize
