if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
