True but thats because hes a fetus.
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
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