My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Randomize