On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
You need Xanax blowdarts
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
