Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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