you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
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