At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize