She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Randomize
