i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
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