I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Randomize
