Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Randomize
