I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize