what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize
