I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize