Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Randomize