Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
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