pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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