The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
